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Clean Up to Get Dirty


Calling all Lotharios. If you want to – ehem – ‘clean up’ in the love department then we have news for you – a dirty bachelor pad just isn’t going to cut it.

We all remember Ross Gellar’s (F.R.I.E.N.D.S) honourable yet unsuccessful attempt to “do it in the mess” in ‘The One with the Dirty Girl’…

And it seems Ross isn’t alone – according to a recent study by LOVESPACE, 63% of the British public refuse to have sex in a dirty or messy house. Basically – if you want to get filthy, your home should be anything but.

The survey reveals than men, unsurprisingly, are less likely to let a little thing like mess put them off from doing the deed, with 34% of them saying no amount of dirt could stop them…

The fairer sex, however, are much more picky, with less than one sixth (15%) of women saying they would consider rolling around in a messy house.

Moreover, if you’re from Northern Ireland you should take note; 84% of inhabitants said a filthy house as a setting for love-making would be a serious no-no. North Easterner’s needn’t be as bothered though; over 30% of people surveyed said they’d be more than happy getting hot and heavy – messy or otherwise.

The survey also revealed that 18-24 year olds were the age group least concerned about clutter when a hook up was imminent; over 30 % weren’t in the least bit worried about fornication in the filth. 45-54 year olds were less sympathetic to mess though, showing up as the age category least likely to forget the mess and fool around. Cougar-files take note…

So it’s pretty clear that cleanliness goes hand in hand with getting laid, but if your house doesn’t currently make the cut, never fear. www.londoncleaningsystem.co.uk has laid out the 10 biggest passion killers – in order of importance – so you can work out exactly where you should be focussing your cleaning efforts.
1) Horrible smells
64% of Brits said this was their biggest turn off. Moral of the story? No fornication without Fabreeze.

2) A kitchen overflowing with clutter and dirty plates
Students – take note.

3) Pictures of ex-partners on the walls

4) Cluttered bedroom floors
The only clothes on the floor should be those belonging to your date…

5) Freaky collections
If you are the sort of person who has dolls or teddy bears, we’re pretty sure you don’t get many dates. So when you do get one, for the love of God hide your stuffed animals.

6) Evidence of past parties or nights out
No empty beer cans, please.

7) Weird memorabilia, like life sized celebrity cardboard cut-outs

8) Dust
Sneezing just isn’t sexy. So get yourself a cloth and have at it.

9) Children’s clothes and toys
Big old mood murderers.

10) Sports equipment
Yes, health is sexy – but let your body do the talking. Because nothing kills romance quite like a muddy pair of trainers…

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